Someone asked me:
"I notice be people of varied age groups creating attention seeking drama. Why do people need so much attention?"
Answer:
Attention Seeking isn't something to complain about. This is human need. This is something that needs compassion and understanding. After all, we too go through this predicament.
One of the deepest human cravings is the 'need to be heard' and 'need to be attended to'.
Why? In our growing years, we were obviously not self-sufficient in terms of our self-esteem and self-image. We were dependent on our world. The more attention we received, the more we felt wanted. In most cases, even after we have grown into adults, we are still not self-sufficient when it comes to our self-image and self esteem. In that sense, we are just a child in an adult body. Consequently, most of us have a tendency to perform attention-seeking drama.
This is one place where dogs score over humans. Whenever you return, your dog greets you by jumping on you, wagging its tail, licking you. It gives you so much attention and makes you feel very important. No wonder we call it our pet. Pet animals, we have in abundance. Pet human, is what we lack ;-)
Haven't you noticed the new breed of swimmers creating big splashes with their strokes to gain attention?
Haven't you seen people shifting to sleeveless T-Shits at the slightest appearance of biceps?
Haven't you seen the man who doesn't wear the top buttons of his shirt so as to display his hairy chest?
A new mobile user makes himself so obvious by allowing it to ring long enough before taking the call, and by speaking in a tone loud enough for others to hear, so as to draw attention???
Some come up with top notch performances to be the cause for celebration, while others resort to pranks to be celebrated, some laugh to get notices, while others cry to draw attention.
"Show off" is the common man's name for such people. They are basically attention seekers. In fact, in someways, all of us are 'attention seekers.'
Owing to this inadequacy in self-esteem and self-image, we need the attention of the world in order to feel complete; by ourselves, we are incomplete. It's not enough that we know what we've done is good. We need the world to endorse what we've done. Our own success gives us a sense of accomplishment only when others applaud it. Awards and rewards give us a sense of fulfillment because they confirm that we've drawn enough attention.
The point is there is a tender heart within each of us that needs attention. If the child within us is not given attention, we resort to childish behavior (even as adults) to draw that attention. A hungry man needs food, not criticism. Seeking attention is a sort of psychological hunger...and very few are exempt from it.
It snot that your daughter cannot study by herself; its just that she enjoys the attention she gets when you sit along with her to study. Its not that adolescent at home wants to speak on the phone for 45 minutes; what we need to understand here is that for those 45 minutes, someone at this other end of the phone is making your daughter feel like a princess.
The solution is simple: To all the people who matter to you and to whim you matter, take the initiative to give them enough attention, preferably, to their positive expressiveness. Invest quality time. Shower them with lavish praise. Give them a lot of encouragement. Make your presence in the relationship adequately felt.
Then next time you hear a complaint, be compassionate. Somebody needs your attention. The next time you witness an emotional drama, be compassionate. Somebody needs your attention.
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Seeking attention is a sort of psychological hunger..and very few are exempt from it.
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"I notice be people of varied age groups creating attention seeking drama. Why do people need so much attention?"
Answer:
Attention Seeking isn't something to complain about. This is human need. This is something that needs compassion and understanding. After all, we too go through this predicament.
One of the deepest human cravings is the 'need to be heard' and 'need to be attended to'.
Why? In our growing years, we were obviously not self-sufficient in terms of our self-esteem and self-image. We were dependent on our world. The more attention we received, the more we felt wanted. In most cases, even after we have grown into adults, we are still not self-sufficient when it comes to our self-image and self esteem. In that sense, we are just a child in an adult body. Consequently, most of us have a tendency to perform attention-seeking drama.
This is one place where dogs score over humans. Whenever you return, your dog greets you by jumping on you, wagging its tail, licking you. It gives you so much attention and makes you feel very important. No wonder we call it our pet. Pet animals, we have in abundance. Pet human, is what we lack ;-)
Haven't you noticed the new breed of swimmers creating big splashes with their strokes to gain attention?
Haven't you seen people shifting to sleeveless T-Shits at the slightest appearance of biceps?
Haven't you seen the man who doesn't wear the top buttons of his shirt so as to display his hairy chest?
A new mobile user makes himself so obvious by allowing it to ring long enough before taking the call, and by speaking in a tone loud enough for others to hear, so as to draw attention???
Some come up with top notch performances to be the cause for celebration, while others resort to pranks to be celebrated, some laugh to get notices, while others cry to draw attention.
"Show off" is the common man's name for such people. They are basically attention seekers. In fact, in someways, all of us are 'attention seekers.'
Owing to this inadequacy in self-esteem and self-image, we need the attention of the world in order to feel complete; by ourselves, we are incomplete. It's not enough that we know what we've done is good. We need the world to endorse what we've done. Our own success gives us a sense of accomplishment only when others applaud it. Awards and rewards give us a sense of fulfillment because they confirm that we've drawn enough attention.
The point is there is a tender heart within each of us that needs attention. If the child within us is not given attention, we resort to childish behavior (even as adults) to draw that attention. A hungry man needs food, not criticism. Seeking attention is a sort of psychological hunger...and very few are exempt from it.
It snot that your daughter cannot study by herself; its just that she enjoys the attention she gets when you sit along with her to study. Its not that adolescent at home wants to speak on the phone for 45 minutes; what we need to understand here is that for those 45 minutes, someone at this other end of the phone is making your daughter feel like a princess.
The solution is simple: To all the people who matter to you and to whim you matter, take the initiative to give them enough attention, preferably, to their positive expressiveness. Invest quality time. Shower them with lavish praise. Give them a lot of encouragement. Make your presence in the relationship adequately felt.
Then next time you hear a complaint, be compassionate. Somebody needs your attention. The next time you witness an emotional drama, be compassionate. Somebody needs your attention.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Seeking attention is a sort of psychological hunger..and very few are exempt from it.
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